


The Temporary Dissipation of a Storm

by justsimplymeagain



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anger induced smut?, Canon Compliant, Carl is a smart kid, Cease Fire, F/M, Frottage, Infidelity, M/M, Minor Rick Grimes/Michonne, Smut, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Violence, War, peace talks, sort of, suffocation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 01:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11476089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsimplymeagain/pseuds/justsimplymeagain
Summary: Rick and Negan meet up, to discuss a “peace” agreement to end a war that neither of them was winning. It goes about as well as expected...





	The Temporary Dissipation of a Storm

Rick stood at the bedroom window of his home, behind him slept the love of his life Michonne. Rick caught onto the fact that she never slept before he did, always protective and supportive and honestly. Rick didn't know what he would do without her. The thought of not having her with him, it was a frightening thing and Rick shuddered at the very thought. She gave him the strength to get up in the morning. To be able to function in between the pick ups and after the death of Glenn and Abraham, Spencer and Olivia. Rick would forever be grateful for her.

And now with there being an all out war. Rick couldn't bare the thought of losing her. Especially now that he needed her the most. Needed her help to keep above the rage that stormed inside of him. Barely kept at bay and as far away from her and the rest of their family. Carl see's it, sometimes he swears his son recoils and pulls away as though it burns him. But he comes back, and Rick tries harder to protect him from it.

Michonne knows of it, tries to use her focus and stillness to anchor him down and quieten the rage storming inside of him.

But it doesn't always work. Sometimes it affects Michonne, and he has scratches down his back from her nails as she anchors herself to him and they clash in lips, bites, and sweat as their bodies push against each other. Her hips bruised from his grip and her shoulder bloodied. She holds him as he nearly weeps in regret of dragging her down with him. Rick never wanted that anger to make its way into what they have. Michonne always smiles in reassurance in the mornings though, and they carry on.

And sometimes it was enough to make him think that he could be free from that anger.

This time was no different, his back stinging from her nails.

But the anger was still clashing inside of him and his vibrating fists was the only indication that he was near breaking point. It took everything in him to not grab his hatchet and go out of those gates and kill anything that crossed his path as he imagined them to be him.

There was going to be no more sleep tonight.

**_~ Line Break ~_ **

In the coming days, the war seemed to get worse. Resources in regards to weapons were starting to show signs of running low. All the while the Saviours appears to be holding out fine, despite being one community with the help of another smaller community and Rick's side being three communities in total. They dug themselves in deep and refused to be pushed back all the while trying to regain control over other communities.

King Ezekiel was stressed enough that he broke character, spoke normally rather than his usual way of speaking. Carol was always there to help hold him up. Rick can see something was between the two of them and he hoped for the best. Carol deserves it and he seems like he would be strong enough to weather the storms that Carol handles day in and out. Maggie was starting to show, Rick pushed her to pull back and one movement from her baby was all it took for her to agree. The quiet moments he had with her, talking about Judith and the baby on it's way were ones Rick will cherish. Michonne always had a broad smile as she kneels in front of Maggie while looking at her small but growing baby bump.

It made Rick think of Lori.

Only when he thought of Lori he would remember how it ended, he would remember Shane and it would only add fuel to the fire. He would have to leave the happy room so he didn't spoil it for them. And Rick would go for a walk and stare out to see if he could spot anything coming. Sometimes he'd see Shiva the tiger pacing the cage angrily and Rick could sympathize with her. He felt the same, like he was pacing a cage wanting nothing more than release.

It would be Carl who crosses his paths these days. Sometimes they talk. Sometimes they walk and watch the false calmness that surrounds the area.

_“You are not safe. No matter how many people are around, or how clear the area looks, no matter what anyone says, no matter what you think, you are not safe. It only takes one second. One second and it’s over. Never let your guard down, ever. I want you to promise me.”_

_“I promise.”_

Words he spoke to Carl in a church so long ago now. Before all of this. Before Negan. Before the wolves. Just before. You are not safe. Words to live by.

It was Carl who brought the conversation up.

“You're angry all the time.” Carl told him one day, without even looking at him. Rick turned from where he was looking to look at Carl who seemed thoughtful. Rick remembered a time when Carl asked him – no, told him that Rick should stop being the leader. Maybe he was right? But it was far too late for that now.

“We're at war Carl, hard no-” Rick tried, but it was clear his son wasn't having it. A sharp shake of his head told Rick as much.

“Not because of the war, we're all angry Dad. But the anger you got, it's more than this. Michonne see's it. I see her staring at your back. She's worried and she's scared.” Carl spoke and Rick wondered when his son grew up to become so smart and so wise. Going over Carl's words Rick winced, he tried to keep it from them as best that he could. Apparently he's failed miserably at that.

“Been angry for a long time now, it's been a long time coming. Especially in this new world.” Rick admitted, it was best not to lie to his son. Carl seemed to be both shocked and happy that his Dad was talking to him about it. Admitting it to him, Rick remembered a time when his own father spoke to him like a man. Admitted things to Rick that he wouldn't have admitted to a boy regardless of who that boy was. It's a turning point, one that he thinks was a long time coming.

“Don't let it destroy you, Dad. Please.” Carl said, it was a simple plea that Rick would do his best to fulfill. He had to be their for Carl and for Judith. For Michonne and the others, he can't let himself drown in that anger. Can't lose himself to it. Rick didn't know how to respond so he pulled Carl into a tight hug and gave a silent promise to not let himself drown. Rick could feel Carl's arms wrap around him and held him just as tightly.

Eventually, they let go, and the conversation turned from Rick to the war effort.

It was Carl who came up with the idea of maybe trying to get an agreement. A cease-fire on both ends, find a way to stop the war without killing each other first. The dead already out numbered them, they didn't need the living to increase those numbers too.

**_~ Line break ~_ **

It shouldn't have came as a surprise that the offer of a meet up under a flag of truce was denied and a good man who delivered the message got shot. Rick apologized to him and watched as he was carried off to the Kingdom for medical attention. The only doctor they had left was there. There were others who were trained in first aid, but they could only do so much.

So the war continued for another two weeks before the Saviors agreed to the temporary cease-fire. Rick pushed for a meeting in a neutral place between the two communities. Alexandria and the Sanctuary. Jadis wanted to be included, Rick declined so Negan declined on Maggie or King Ezekiel being present. It was to be only Rick and Negan meeting, both escorted by three people each and go into the meeting alone. Unarmed. No Lucille, no hatchet or gun. Just themselves.

Rick expected to feel relieved or something other than the antsy feeling that made his skin crawl and destroyed his ability to stay still. Michonne set her hand on his shoulder with a concerned look on her face. Rick smiled at her, took her hand and kissed both the top and her palm before holding it close. He loved her in a way that words could never describe.

And on the day that the meeting was to happen, all she asked of him was to be careful. To come back safe.

Rick was accompanied by Aaron, a man named Steve from the Kingdom and Paul from the Hilltop community. They rode in a single car, and the radio was off, and none of them could find anything to say. Aaron drove, and Rick sat in the passenger seat. Watching as they got closer and closer to the meeting place. Another vehicle was approaching. They stopped and watched as the other vehicle stop as well.

It was a stare off.

Rick felt like the air was sucked out of the car and his heart pounded wildly in his chest. The sun seemed brighter, and yet Rick only felt colder. Rick noted that it was Jadis, another woman who Rick remembered because she was always with Negan during his pick ups and Simon. Negan got out last. Handed Lucille and a rather intimidating knife to Simon.

“We should get out now.” Aaron said, his jaw tense and Rick could see he was touching a gun like he wanted just to get out and fire. It was tempting. Rick wanted to do the same. But instead, he nodded and did just that. The others followed his lead, and Rick handed his hatchet and his colt python over to Aaron. Paul wished him good luck, and Rick barely acknowledged that as all of his attention zeroed in on Negan.

That anger. That storm Rick was trying to stay above seemed to rage even worse. Clenching his jaw, Rick did everything to remain calm as they got to the building they agreed on at the same time. Negan knew about this building so it could be a trap, Rick had him go first and became rather adamant that Rick wasn't going in until he does. Negan flashed a wide grin and called him out on the fact that Rick assumed there was a trap inside.

“Okay Rick. I'll go in first, then you can see everything is just peachy.” Negan said, holding his hands out and showing that he was unarmed and made a rather big scene about going in first. Making sure Rick knew exactly what he was doing and what was inside. It used to be a gas station but the shelves have been emptied. And anything that could have been useful was gone. There was no sign of walkers but there was skeletal remains of several people, a cat and a dog. Rick looked around himself to make sure there was no hidden weapons or people. To make sure that there was no walkers either before focusing in on Negan who stood there grinning widely.

Rick remembered a time when he met up with the Governor, remembered he should have killed the man then and there but failed to do that.

He wasn't going to make that same mistake. With no weapons, Rick would use his hands. His teeth. Whatever he had to. But Negan wasn't going to leave this situation alive. There was no chance of it.

“About the cease fi-” Negan started, seemingly here to genuinely talk about it. Figure something out. It was almost laughable, and laugh was something Rick almost did.

“No.” Rick interrupted, back straight as he stared at Negan in open defiance. No longer will he look down or away, submit to the whims of a madman with far too much power. Who has everything all wrong. It wasn't going to happen.

“No?” There was a flash of anger in Negan's face as he repeated what Rick said. It seemed like he was doing everything in his power to not lose it then and there. Rick couldn't stop the grin from stretching across his face. It wasn't friendly. Rick watched as a tongue flickered out, wetting lips as Negan evidently regarded him carefully. All before that tongue disappeared and a wide grin stretched across the man's features. Instantly smothering the anger in favour of amusement.

There was a barely there laugh as Negan stepped forward a couple of steps, drawing closer to Rick.

“No to whatever you want. You took enough. It's time you give something back.” Rick stated, pushing himself to talk. Pushing to do what he was sent here to do. What he came here to do in the first place. Talk about a cease-fire. Talk about finding a way to get peace. Even though his ulterior motives were still present. Still an option. Still the endgame. Get a cease-fire, get it written down. Get it signed. Then to end this.

Maybe, just maybe Negan could take Rick's anger to the grave with him.

There was outrage on Negan's face. It seemed like he was doing everything he could to keep calm. Even going so far as taking a deep breath and Rick tipped his nose up at the man. Daring him to lash out, if that happens all the blame of this meeting going south can be blamed on Negan. His group, his people and allies wouldn't blame Rick because they all knew what Negan was like. The problem was, some of them knew what Rick was like as well.

Kill them all, Rick would tell them calmly. Steady voice and a mind that shouldn't be as sure as it was.

_“Sucks don't it. The moment you realize you don't know shit.”_

A stark reminder, an echo that would forever chase him from that night. That and thinking about the worst case scenario of what could have happened. But knowing this, knowing that didn't stop Rick from pushing it aside.

Focus. Focus would be what he would say to himself.

Focus.

“That is true, took half your shit for a good few weeks. Took some shit from the Kingdom and half the shit for months from the Hilltop. And yet, you're here to talk about a cease-fire. A peace between us goes both ways, Rick. Doesn't work any other way.” Negan said, taking a few steps closer and entering Rick's personal space and Rick could feel the tension coiling tighter between them. Rick forced and held eye contact with the man who dared him to look away. Almost seeming satisfied when Rick didn't.

_“Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sitting around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after. No. Doesn’t work like that, Rick. **Not anymore.** ”_

There's a lot of things that don't work that way. Nothing ever does. Rick still believed that if they stuck together, they could do anything. But it doesn't go without saying, that his belief in that did take a beating. Every time that bat came down on Abraham and Glenn it was a strike to Rick and his belief. But here he was. Still standing with most of his friends and family still alive.

Pushing it aside Rick focused.

“Maybe.” That was all Rick could afford to give Negan. There was a knowing look in the man's eyes. Control was shifting, Rick can feel it. Needs to get control of it, if he was going to get anything out of this. If he was going to be able to accomplish anything.

“But I don't think you want a cease fire. No siree! Not you, you're not here for that.” Negan's voice was loud, and Rick wanted to flinch because he wasn't wrong. Not completely. He needed to get control of the situation, and he had to get control of it now. Because as it stood, Negan was the one who now in control. And they both seemed to know it; the man oozed out confidence as he pushed further into Rick's personal space. A posture to make Rick back down, submit even a bit.

But Rick couldn't.

His anger wouldn't allow him.

So Rick pushed back, shoving Negan hard. Forcing Negan to stumble back a few steps, the wide grin only seemed to stretch wider, and Rick knew he gave up whatever cards he held.

“You totally aren't here for a fucking cease fire! I fucking knew it!” The man sounded pleased and confident he was right. And he was, but only partially. Rick did want a cease-fire. He wanted the rest of his friends and family to stay alive. He wanted to go home to his daughter again. Watch Maggie's baby grow when he or she is born. To do that you either had to win this war or you had to create some form of peace.

But right now, right now the anger compromised Rick.

“You want to do something, Rick. So fucking do it. Don't pussy out now.” Negan taunted, voice confident and low enough as the man entered Rick's personal space again. Daring him and pushing him into a corner without them moving. Rick knew now, his control over the situation was lost. Get whatever this is out of his system. Get it out, and maybe, maybe he can salvage whatever is left of this failed experiment.

His skin crawled as the tension, and Rick's anger just seemed to snap, with a hard shove followed by a punch Rick sent Negan back and into the counter behind him. Rick tightened a fist and connected another punch to the man's sternum causing him to nearly double over if Rick let him. Instead, firm grips on his shoulders was all it took to keep the man in place as he connected his knee to the man's crotch causing a sound of pain and barley there laughter.

“Hoo-boy Rick! You got some anger issues or what?” Negan's voice despite the tinge of pain was still taunting and next thing he knew he was on his back with Negan pinning him down with nothing more than solid weight and a firm grip on his wrists.

“So about that cea-!” Negan started, voice taunting until the end where a shocked sound of surprise escaped him as Rick arched himself up enough to force Negan to lose balance. Change the situation back into his own favour. Take control of whatever this was! All that anger seemed to surge up and Rick tried to bite, punched where he could until he felt his arms pinned to his side in a manner that remind him of the claimer who thought he could restrain Rick while another claimer made the worst mistake of his life by putting hands on Carl.

They weren't standing up though, that was the only difference. That and Rick clamped his mouth shut instead of surge forward to go for Negan's neck. Panting Rick tried to struggle free as he made eye contact with Negan once again. A knowing look was in those eyes. An understanding look and Rick felt far too vulnerable for his liking. Negan knows. Negan understood. And Rick hated him for it.

Rick managed to get his arms free. Either that or Negan let him.

“Sucks, don't it. Having all that in you and not able to do shit abo-” Negan started, voice oddly calm and void of anything mocking.

“Shut up.” Rick forced out between clenched teeth. How dare he speak to Rick like they were friends or that they were on the same level! Rick tried to get free, and Negan nearly let him go and Rick would have escaped if it wasn't for a look that was close to sympathizing with Rick, close to pity. Rick forced out, “Don't. Don't you look at me like that.” Not when he has no right to. After everything he's done. Killing Rick's friends. Humiliating him. Breaking him down. Stealing from Rick's community.

“Burns, doesn't it. That the guy you hate knows exactly what you got going on in that head of yours.” The mocking tone was back, cruel and cutting and false all at the same time. Rick hated him all the more and wanted to curl up because why. Why does it have to be Negan who seemed to understand that. Have the audacity to even say it out loud. Rick didn't even realize he was doing it, shaking his head no as he pushed against Negan.

Negan who doesn't seem to know when to stop talking, opened his mouth to say something else. That look was back. Rick wanted it gone. Wanted him to remain silent. But there was no knife to slit the man's throat. No gun to silence him with. Nothing but his hands. So without thinking, without hesitating Rick wrapped his hands around Negan's throat and started to squeeze. The arms that restrained him went instantly to his wrists as Negan tried to pull him off, kicking his feet underneath them to try to find purchase to gain further control with.

Faintly Rick was aware of a skeleton being disrupted and a skull rolling. But it didn't matter, all that mattered was the fact that beneath him was Negan and that his hands were wrapped around his throat. It wasn't until hands wrapped around Rick's throat and mirroring his own did he realize just how close they were. Slotted against each other in an abandoned gas station in the middle of a war.

Rick let out a strangled gasp. His vision was going blurry. Neither of them seemed willing to budge, and the adrenaline and anger seemed to do nothing but linger in Rick's mind and body as he struggled against the grip and tried to grasp his breath. He didn't want to pass out. He didn't want to die. Yes, he wanted Negan to die, but not at the cost of his own life. So what to do?

In the back of his mind, he pleaded for forgiveness from Michonne. Especially for this.

His anger. This storm. His hands around Negan's throat and Negan's hands around his own. Rick needed to change the direction of it, push for something else that might let them walk away from this. Maybe without a cease-fire, but there would still be life and another day where Rick can fight to win a war that he started.

With this in mind. Rick pushed down with his hips, shocked when he felt something hard pressed back. Negan's eyes went wide with shock that now was written on his face as Rick kept the pressure on. Knowing what to do only because of it being done to him by Michonne. By Lori. The grip around his throat seemed to loosen enough for Rick to drink in air unaware that his own hands mirrored Negan's.

Faintly he was aware of hips pushing up against his own and a firm grip around his waist holding him there.

Negan was taking control. Holding onto it with a firm grim and a desperate need no doubt. Rick couldn't let that happen, couldn't let Negan keep that control. With a sneer, Rick put most of his weight into it forcing Negan to still slightly but not changing the firm grip. Negan opened his mouth to say something, amusement and now lust showing.

“Don't talk.” Rick hissed out.

“Su-” Negan attempted to agree, amused when it became apparent that his agreement was a preferably silent one.

“Shut up.” Rick insisted, they didn't have to talk for this. Rick unzipped Negan's jacket before unzipping his own. Negan seemed more surprised at Rick's actions to put a stop to it. More going along for the ride before taking the situation into another direction. One that Rick didn't know if he would want to go but finding it far too late to go back now. Pants unzipped and Rick's down to his knees. Negan's down only enough to free himself.

They were both too far gone to care that the situation around them could destabilize the longer they were in there. There was only the here and now and in seconds Rick was back in Negan's lap pushing down forcing the pace to match him. The same firm grip around his waist ensured that there was no escape now. It didn't take long for control on either side to diminish to a pure need of reaching the end. A race to see who gets there first. With Rick pushing down and Negan surging up, it wouldn't be long now either way. Rick anchored himself with a firm grip in Negan's hair with one hand and the other steadying himself with the use of Negan's forearm around his waist. The man seemed to enjoy having his hair held tightly, pulled hard enough to hurt.

If Rick knew that this was all it took to make the man shut up, he might have pushed for this sooner.

Rick was close. And from the looks of it, so was Negan.

It was Rick who crossed another line that he didn't intend to pass by surging forward and connecting their lips. Biting and licking his way in, he could taste blood, whiskey and something he figures is purely Negan. Rick's efforts were met once the man caught up with what was going on. Rick's grip on his hair didn't loosen as he kept Negan where he wanted as movements grew frantic and the unexpected kiss that was more bloody than it should have been grown both hungry and sloppy.

Breaking the kiss Rick pressed the side of his face against Negan's as he finally came with a barely silenced groan. A groan that wasn't silenced at all was the first indication that Negan was coming as well. Hips firmly pushed up against his own. The gentle stroking of Rick's hip felt out of place. And yet, he didn't stop it. Just let himself come down from whatever this was. Stress relief? The tension finally snapping?

It was the thought of Michonne that had Rick pulling back with full realization of what lines he's crossed. Without looking at Negan, Rick climbed off and put a few feet between them as he pulled his pants up and zipped up his jacket to hide the evidence on his shirt. Faintly he was aware of Negan doing the same; only the man didn't zip his coat up to cover up the evidence. Instead, he seemed rather smug.

“Damn Rick. Who knew you had it in you.” Negan's voice was mocking and yet lacking the cruelty that it usually holds.

“Don't say a damn word about it! Not to anyone.” Rick insisted, and he didn't know what possessed him, but he was the one who zipped up Negan's jacket and his pants. Negan for whatever reason, let him do it before catching Rick's chin and forcing the man to make eye contact. A far cry of his usual forcing Rick to break eye contact.

“So I take it, none for the road?” Negan taunted.

“Fuck you.” Rick snapped as he pulled away. Storming out of the building and back towards his people. An apology on his mind and a hissed order for them to not say a word. He knows what he smells like and he knows it was evident a fight broke out.

Nobody said a word about it and Rick avoided everyone when he got back. Had a shower and tossed his shirt in the washer machine with the other laundry before starting it. All to hide the evidence and his shame. He stiffened when Michonne hugged him and was grateful when she didn't say anything about it.

**_~ Line Break ~_ **

That night Rick sat on his porch, the meeting with the others wasn't hopeful, and he could tell that they weren't pleased. Rick failed to get a cease-fire. So that meant the war was still happening and people will die and it would be Rick's fault.

And yet, all he could do was sit on his porch with the sickening realization that his mind was silent and the anger that always stormed inside of him was nothing more than a tingling sensation. Rick wished that it didn't take what it took for it to calm down, hated that it involved Negan and felt worse than he expected that it included blood and bruises that shouldn't have been mixed into something that would have been intimate if it was anyone else. If it was Michonne.

Rick for the first time in a while, wanted nothing more than to get drunk to numb everything. To forget that it was Negan who seemed to understand. That they both allowed for something to happen when it shouldn't have.

* * *

 

Come say hi: [justsimplymeagain](http://justsimplymeagain.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Anon requested: “Rick/Negan - Rick being the pushy one and Negan allowing him to proceed with these antics, while still trying to stay in control of the situation.” I really hope I got this right if it counts for anything it is a bit of a fight for control and Rick does get pushy...


End file.
